I woke up at 3am this morning and haven't been able to get back to sleep since. It's nearly five thirty now so I've been awake for about two and a half hours staring at the ceiling . It's so quiet I can hear my own heartbeat. The stillness of everything outside makes me nervous.
Early morning is probably the loneliest time of day. It's like closing your eyes and pretending you're on Mars or someplace. The hours seem to slow down. Whenever I glance at the clock it stares back at me defiantly. As much as I wish the sun would hurry up and rise I know it won't until it's ready.
I should be more patient but waiting is all I ever seem to do these day and I know I'll be tired in the morning. I always am. Even when I've slept all night I wake up feeling about 96. I guess that's another wonderful side effect of getting older. I should have stayed young like my dad used to always tell me to.
It's six on the dot now. I looked out of the window and it's still dark outside. I can feel the coldness seeping through the glass. I guess the night must be leaking in. I should have moved into an apartment with better insulation. Or maybe a nicer heater.
Anyway I should probably get back to my ceiling. I wouldn't want to miss out if anything exciting were to happen. Maybe I'll see something I've never seen before. Something amazing and otherworldly that'll make life worth living again and completely change my idea of what is to be alive...or maybe I'll finally fall asleep. To be honest I wouldn't mind either way.
